By Our Society Correspondent
DAILYNEWS UG |THE CURSE|
The so-called “Kardashian Curse” is the assertion that any man who has dated a Kardashian woman will be doomed to failure in some way. It’s an internet conspiracy that became so well known, the family that turned being famous for nothing into a multi-million dollar empire had to address it on its reality show. The ladies scoffed at the idea, of course, but there is compelling evidence, as well as more than a few unfortunate former lovers that have been laid to waste in their wake. Here’s a list of the luckless fellows who’ve aligned themselves with House Kardashian.
At the time of this writing, the details of rapper Kanye West’s hospitalization remain murky. According to People, police and fire rescue were called on Nov. 21, 2016 because West was behaving erratically. TMZ reported he was “handcuffed to the stretcher because it’s protocol when cops are told someone is on a 5150 [psychiatric] hold,” but those details have already been denied by West’s camp.
Speaking to People, Kanye’s reps claim that between his Saint Pablo tour and his fashion line, he was exhausted and sleep deprived, so he went to the hospital “under the advice of his physician.” The hospitalization is the capper to a manic week that included West praising Donald Trump’s election, calling out Beyoncé and Jay Z for vague reasons, and canceling the remaining dates of his Saint Pablo tour.
In order to properly frame how West went from being heralded as one of hip-hop’s true geniuses to being just the ranting lunatic husband of Kim Kardashian, we have to rewind further than recent events. West certainly did enough on his own to contribute to his downfall: the Taylor Swift mic grab, the Matt Lauer feud, begging Mark Zuckerberg for money, etc., but after hooking up with Kim, his insanity seemingly went into hyper-drive. There was his marriage proposal, when he rented out an entire stadium in a gaudy spectacle that would have made Liberace blush. There was the time he bragged on a track about Kim’s sex tape with Ray J, an uncomfortable subject she’s made efforts to distance herself from. Way back in 2009, long before Kimye became a possibility, there was a big red flag that West was already a goner. According to Kris Jenner, West Photoshopped himself onto the Kardashians’ Christmas card and sent it to Kim. Even most stalkers would probably view that as crossing the line. Did the Kardashians ruin West, or was he never truly playing with a full deck?
Did the Kardashians ruin West, or was he never truly playing with a full deck? One thing is clear: the Kardashian connection certainly has not helped West find his footing.
if Tyga had already been a successful rapper, which he wasn’t, two things about his relationship with Kylie Jenner would immediately give detractors diss material against him forever. First, their relationship allegedly began when Kylie was 17, something both he and Kylie dispute, yet he grossly alludes to it in his song, “$timulated.” Second, Tyga has a child with Blac Chyna, who is now Rob Kardashian’s baby mama, making Tyga’s son the half-brother to his girlfriend’s niece, which is a description generally only seen in the captions of Jerry Springer guests. Then there’s the matter of how Tyga seems to be constantly broke, having had cars repossessed and been evicted from rental properties for non-payment, yet still somehow gives Kylie a $220,000 Maybach for her birthday. It seems this guy is potentially using his rent and car payment money to try to impress his already wealthy girlfriend, which also makes him not too bright.
There wasn’t a lot known about Tyga pre-Kardashians, but his time among the reality queens has arguably not helped him improve as a person. Hopefully, he and Kylie have what it takes for the long haul, because his current life plan of spending himself into debt to shower his lady with elaborate gifts wouldn’t fly with most women. As in, sure, this sports car is great, but having to live in it doesn’t sound that awesome.
When basketball star Lamar Odom married Khloe Kardashian in 2009, he seemed to be at a high point in his life. He won the NBA championship with the Los Angeles Lakers that season, and the next year, he and Khloe became the only couple out of all the Keeping Up With the Kardashians relationships that viewers overwhelmingly felt was genuine.
Things started to get rocky after Odom was traded to the Dallas Mavericks. Despite Khloe moving to Texas to be by his side, rumors swirled about Odom’s alleged drug abuse destroying their marriage. Lamar didn’t finish the season with the Mavericks, and the ill-fated pair even “took the summer off from reality TV,” which in Kardashian World is equivalent to committing murder or not eating a salad for breakfast. By the following year, Khloe and Odom were separated and divorce papers were filed.
Sadly, Odom’s downward spiral didn’t stop there. He bounced from one failed basketball opportunity to the next until his career effectively ended when he was waived by the New York Knicks in July 2014. A little more than a year later, Odom overdosed on cocaine and “a Viagra-like medication” at a Nevada brothel. After emerging from a coma, he reportedly underwent extensive rehabilitation. Of all the men touched by the supposed “Kardashian curse,” Odom seems to have suffered the worst fate so far. He continues to struggle with addiction, and possibly worst of all? He has reappeared on KUWTK. Isn’t it time to just leave this poor man alone?
Another NBA baller to get ground up in the Kardashian machine is Kris Humphries, the man Kim could only stand to be married to for 72 days (though their legal divorce would take a year and a half to finalize). Though he was clearly blindsided by their breakup, which played out entirely from Kim’s perspective on KUWTK, Humphries has not publicly commented on his feelings about his failed marriage. However, the annulment he filed spoke volumes. In it, he indicated that he requested “nullity of voidable marriage,” on the basis of fraud. It was Humphries’ legal way of saying he felt duped into a sham marriage, which was arguably a classier route than the one taken by his former in-laws, which involved feeding the tabloids negative tales about the athlete.
Kim’s sister, Khloe, was particularly outspoken and, years later, seems unwilling to leave the poor guy alone after five years. In April 2016 she appeared on Snoop Dogg’s podcast, calling Humphries a “dog” and a “f**king loser.” Despite what seems to be a never ending bash fest, Humphries has tried to keep his head low and focus on his basketball career. Unfortunately, even if he was better than LeBron James, he’d still forever be known as the patsy in Kim’s spectacular $18 million wedding hustle.
Forever avoiding marrying into the family, Scott Disick may have been attempting to keep a get-out-of-jail-free card in his back pocket. Then he impregnated on-again, off-again girlfriend Kourtney Kardashian three times, so that plan went right out the window.
On the reality show, Disick’s substance abuse problems are portrayed as the sole cause of stress in the relationship, which nicely positions Kourtney as the victim each time they have a falling out. And there have been many falling outs. Disick has had a contentious relationship with Kourtney’s extended family, been accused of cheating, and relapsed on drugs and booze multiple times. Each time Scott comes groveling back, the audience is either rooting for him and Kourtney to reconcile or for him to get spectacularly rejected. It’s a win-win for the Kardashians, who know they have people captivated either way, and it’s a dark circle of recurrent shame for Disick, who can never truly escape his association with them unless he abandons his children.
If you were to walk up to literally any stranger and ask, “How do you know the name Ray J?” we 100 percent guarantee their response will not be, “He’s that R&B singer, right?” Rather, they’ll likely say he’s the guy who made a certain “tape” with Kim. While she somehow spun that infamy into a multi-million dollar reality TV empire, even successfully suing Vivid Entertainment (the distributors of “the tape”) for a rumored $5 million, he did none of that. Ray J has settled for some residual revenue off the footage and continues to reference both Kim and the tape in his song lyrics in a pathetically transparent attempt to grasp onto any kind of relevance.
Speaking of his music, Ray J suddenly became prolific in 2016, releasing three albums and an EP after taking a long hiatus, most likely because his last two efforts, For the Love of Ray J and When Worlds Collide, failed to chart a single track. What lit a fire under him? You guessed it: his history with the Kardashians. After his likeness was featured in Kanye’s Famous video, Ray J was reportedly livid, so he teamed up with fellow self-declared “misunderstood bad boy” Chris Brown for a Kim and Kanye diss track, which they also titled Famous (talk about originality.) As of this writing, none of Ray J’s revenge-fueled tunes are lighting up the charts. Maybe it’s time to forget about Kim and perhaps choose another career path, J, or Ray, or whatever. You’re still young. Have you thought about learning a trade?
Okay, this one may seem like a stretch, but hear us out. In her memoir (via The Huffington Post), Kris Jenner claims Simpson’s wife, Nicole Brown Simpson—the one O.J. was acquitted of murdering—called Kris and tried to meet with her on the day she was murdered. Claiming she was too busy to get together, Kris scheduled a lunch for the following day, but the rest was history. Whether or not you believe O.J. murdered Nicole is irrelevant. If Kris’ claim is true, suspiciously self-serving as it is, she could have potentially gotten Nicole out of the house at the time the murder occurred, thus prevented O.J. from either committing the act or being wrongfully accused of it.
Granted, Kris’ story is most likely an exaggerated anecdote, played up to sell a few more books. Couple that with the fact that O.J. is now serving 33 years for an unrelated armed robbery and kidnapping, and you can see that he didn’t need much help destroying himself. Looks like you’re off the hook, Kris. This time.
As the only son in a house with five sisters, did Rob Kardashian really stand a chance? While his sisters’ careers were blowing up with modeling, endorsement deals, and glamorous magazine spreads, Rob seemed like a non-starter whose only branch of the family empire was a novelty sock line. Eventually latching onto his big sis, Khloe, Rob moved into her house, but became a recluse following her split from Odom, with whom Rob had become BFFs. After skipping Christmas, Kim and Kanye’s wedding, then packing on a ton of weight, it became clear that the family had cut Rob loose. He stopped appearing on the show, and some family members admitted they were even waiting for the worst possible news. But as luck—or a reality show producer’s script—would have it, a new storyline for Rob emerged.
Remember when we briefly mentioned Blac Chyna, Tyga’s baby mama? Well, Rob would eventually fall head over heels for her in a secret relationship that ignited a tabloid frenzy and renewed the KUWTK audience’s interest in all things Rob. The pair now have their own spin-off show and welcomed their daughter, Dream, into the world on Nov. 10, 2016.
It would seem Rob’s back on top again, right? Wrong. He’s still struggling to shed his excess pounds, and the tabloid machine has already cranked into full gear speculating on problems surrounding his relationship with Chyna. So, was returning to the relentless spotlight that burned him so badly the first time such a great idea? Not likely, but look on the bright side. He could have had a son.
Before the NFL star dated Kim Kardashian he was tipped to be one of the best football players of his generation. In 2009, he called time on their two-year relationship, claiming he didn’t want to be part of the Kardashian brand. After the break-up he was forced to hand back his Heisman football trophy after it was found he received bribes from USC and he became the first running back in history to finish a season with negative yards run. We’re not 100% what that means but it doesn’t sound great.
The NBA player dated Khloe for eight months in 2015 and since named it as ‘the worst year of my life’. Ouch. He ended up splitting with the star because he felt her fame was affecting his career and performance.
He said to Maxim about the kurse: “I didn’t like all the attention. I feel like it was for no reason. I wasn’t getting anything out of it except my name out there and my face out there, and I don’t need that. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but it wasn’t me. I don’t need pictures of myself when I’m driving my car. Who cares? What shoes am I wearing? Who cares? Where am I eating? Who cares? It was unnecessary stuff that I think trickled down to my teammates. I had to eliminate that.”