You’ve been dating for a while and so, inevitably, you’ve started thinking of a future together. But will you make it?
Dating couples behave very differently together. Some fight like cats and dogs only to kiss and make up. Others are much more focused on each other’s needs. Which ones are you?
If you’re a “dramatic couple” you’ll have huge fights, often in public. Your commitment to one another swings wildly. Your whole relationship is stormy and you do a lot of things separately rather than together like hanging out with your own friends. Holding on to your individuality is much more important to you than other dating couples.
You tend to focus on your negative thoughts about the relationship, rather than the happy moments. And that slowly chips away at your commitment.
It’s a bit like when your treasured car turns out to be a lemon. To begin with, you doggedly repair it after every breakdown. But then suddenly, after yet another problem – perhaps something quite small – you give up and get rid of it.
So, just like with the car, all the negativity and fights gradually reduce your confidence in your relationship. And so you suddenly you give up. Dramatic couples are twice as likely to break up as other couples.
If you’re a “conflict-ridden couple”, you probably argue even more than a dramatic couple! But your whole relationship is far more stable.
You argue over simply everything and the conflicts push you apart, but a passionate attraction to one another pulls you back together. Your commitment falls whenever you have an argument, but then you quickly kiss and make up.
Despite its ups and downs, this sort of relationship can be exciting and deeply rewarding. But a love like this rarely lasts into the long term. All that passion simply drives you nuts.
If you’re a “socially involved couple”, you have many mutual friends, and you rely on them to help you make decisions. Your relationship is highly stable, and sharing many friends makes you feel closer and more committed.
The best of all, however, is being a “partner-focused couple”. You always put your partner first in everything you do. You spend a lot of time together. You have a network of mutual friends, but put your relationship with one another ahead of your socialising. You’re probably highly conscientiousness, and very careful and thoughtful about how you approach relationship decisions. You have lots of very happy moments together, and use them to deepen your commitment to one another. And of all the different types of couples, you have the best chance of staying together and getting married.
So, think about the way you and your partner behave together because it’s not fixed. You can choose to develop better conflict skills, for example. And if you do break up, your next relationship may be completely different. So, don’t settle. Choose to be with someone who makes you feel truly happy.